


feel my fate at your fingertips

by eclipsed (wasatch_97)



Series: ex-wips from hell [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Class Differences, M/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:34:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29762487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wasatch_97/pseuds/eclipsed
Summary: Jisung reaches out and lets his fingers brush along Minho’s jaw, collecting his tears on his own skin. He knows that this is it; there is one last thread holding them together, and he’s about to break it. “You’re going to have that family - the perfect family that lives in a cute house with a white picket fence. You’re going to love your spouse and your kids who you’ll get to give the world to. You’ll have a cat and a dog too, and you’ll never worry about money with your salary. Your life will be sweet and warm, and you’ll be happy.”“Jisung, don’t do this to me,please.”“And you, sweet, kind Lee Minho, deserve nothing less. It will all be as it should be.”
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Series: ex-wips from hell [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2187453
Kudos: 33





	feel my fate at your fingertips

**Author's Note:**

> bad day i guess = sad fic
> 
> I listened to [let it all out](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPYhGRaDtO0) by coin on repeat hence why there’s lyrics and maybe why its so sad oops ://
> 
> sry im not up for comments here but feel free to leave something in my cc or dm me and ill definitely answer later :)

_When you love something, but you’ve had enough  
When you hold someone, but you’re losing touch  
You’re rubbing salt deep in the cut  
Oh, I-I-I_

It begins like this: Jisung, standing in an ever-growing rain puddle as the sky pours it’s sorrows down. He shifts foot to foot, shoes squelching, as his sweater grows heavy with moisture. The weather has caught him by surprise - when he left his apartment to head to campus the sun was shining but when he stepped out of class he was hit by a full-blown rain storm. 

It’s not great for his laptop bag strung over his shoulder, the contents within surely feeling at least slightly damp by now. He wishes the bus would _hurry the fuck up,_ because he’s drowning just standing here, but it seems like he’s out of luck. 

Until a car pulls up to the curb in front of him.

The passenger window rolls down and Jisung squints to see the driver. And _oh,_ it’s Lee Minho. 

“You look like a drowned rat,” Minho calls, and gestures to the door. “C’mon, Jisung, I’ll bring you home.” 

“You really don’t have to,” Jisung starts, but knows it’s no use, not when Minho is glowering at him like that. 

So Jisung gets in the car. 

Minho smiles at him, like they’re the best of friends, and cranks the heat up to high. Jisung clutches his bag to his chest, unsure of what to do with himself as Minho drives. It’s awkward; he knows Minho from an intro to psych class they were both in, but also from a hookup that happened mid-semester. The night is kind of a blur, Jisung remembers the fair amount of liquor he’d consumed before he took Minho’s hand and dragged him from the bar to his bed. 

Not his best moment. 

“So, I left my number but you never called.” 

Another not-so-great moment. 

Jisung picks at a thread coming loose from the strap of his bag. “Yeah, I, uh, I don’t really sleep around. That was kind of a once in a lifetime thing.” 

Minho rolls his eyes, “I’m honored. But if you’d called I would’ve asked you out, Jisung. I know you a bit from that class but I’d like to know you better.”

Jisung gapes at Minho’s profile, suddenly feeling very exposed, as he’s been put on the spot. “I…” 

“Just coffee together, nothing more, nothing less,” Minho says, turning briefly to smile, and Jisung finds the look a bit more trustworthy than he should. 

“Fine,” he whispers. “Take me out. Once.” 

And he lets himself think that getting to know Minho could lead to something. Maybe. All he knows right now is that Minho is smart, popular, and wealthy. He knows that Minho hasn’t had to struggle to get anywhere; not with his talents and money. 

He also knows that he is the complete opposite; he works three jobs to support himself and spends what time he has between classes and work studying. 

Jisung comes from nothing, and struggles to have something every day. 

When Minho drops him off in front of his place and waves him a goodbye, Jisung wonders if he and Minho are a bit too different.

He hopes not.

_I’m a thousand miles from my front door  
And I can’t recall what I came here for  
My skin is thick, but I can’t take much more  
Oh, I-I-I_

It ends like this: Minho is just feet from Jisung but is further away with each second, as Jisung is backing away from him and Minho isn’t daring to follow.

“Jisung, please talk to me,” Minho whispers, his hand outstretched. 

Jisung brings his sweater sleeves to his cheeks, wiping away his tears. He feels like he’s about to vomit, his head spinning with words unsaid, with the feelings that are erupting into molten pain within him. But he forces the words out anyhow. “I’m breaking up with you, Minho.” 

He doesn’t look up to see Minho deflate, or see the tears come to his eyes. He doesn’t look because he knows Minho well enough to guess his every reaction; it’s been four years, four long years that are suddenly way too short. “What do you mean? We love each other, you love me, right? Jisung--”

“You know why,” Jisung says, choosing to cut him off, because maybe it’ll be a little less painful. It isn’t. “You know this isn’t working, too.” 

“Jisung, I know we have our differences but please, let’s just talk this out.” Minho is pleading and his tone makes Jisung feel like his bones are crumbling and soon he won’t have the strength to stand. “Is it...Is it our schedules? I know that with my residency at the hospital and your jobs it’s been hard to see each other, but we can get through it, Sung.” 

And the plea is in Minho’s eyes now, leaving Jisung floundering for words. So he chooses the harshest ones.

“I’m not a doll, you can’t keep holding on to me when I want to be let go! I’m not something that is yours to keep, Minho. I’m not something money can buy, like everything your parents have given you over the years.” 

Minho visibly recoils and Jisung is hit with how awful he’s just been. His words spark tears in both their eyes. “That’s not fair, Jisung. I didn’t ask to be brought up the way I was. I’ve fought to prove that I’m more than that every day, you know that.” 

Jisung knows. Jisung knows that Minho hates how people look at him and only see his parent’s money. Jisung knows, but he’s too far into this to stop. “Me neither. But here we are, and we’re so different, Min. I see the world through a different lens than you do; my family doesn’t have money, and I’ve had to earn my way up by working until I collapse. It’s been so hard, Minho. It sill is so hard.” His voice is wobbling, because these are words he’s held back for far too long. 

Every time Minho takes him out to eat at an expensive place or buys him nice gifts, Jisung is hit with a belittling feeling that _hurts._

Minho grits his teeth, and his eyes are sparkling with tears that are so close to falling. “Because it isn’t hard for me, either? My family does have money but that doesn’t mean everything is easy. You know that!” 

“But you’ve always had something to fall back on,” Jisung whispers. He can see the pain he’s inflicting with each intake of breath and flinch from Minho. “If you do ever fail, you’ll be brought back up. I never have second chances, Minho.” 

“You’re being cruel to me, Jisung.” 

Jisung squeezes his eyes closed, unable to look at Minho any longer. Part of him wishes he could hold Minho and say he’s sorry and that he loves him, but he can’t. 

“I know.” His voice feels foreign; like it’s coming from outside of him, outside of his control. “I can’t hate you, Min. I care so much, but where I’ve been and what blood and tears I’ve spilled to get to where I am will never let me see like I need to in order to be with you.”

“ _Jisung,”_ Minho is falling apart; paths of tears forming on his cheeks as he stares at Jisung in horror and pain.

Jisung reaches out and lets his fingers brush along Minho’s jaw, collecting his tears on his own skin. He knows that this is it; there is one last thread holding them together, and he’s about to break it. “You’re going to have that family - the perfect family that lives in a cute house with a white picket fence. You’re going to love your spouse and your kids who you’ll get to give the world to. You’ll have a cat and a dog too, and you’ll never worry about money with your salary. Your life will be sweet and warm, and you’ll be happy.” 

“Jisung, don’t do this to me, _please.”_

“And you, sweet, kind Lee Minho, deserve nothing less. It will all be as it should be.” 

Minho pushes Jisung’s hand away and tugs him into an embrace with more force than necessary, leaving Jisung breathless. His lips are so close to Jisung’s ear, and when he speaks Jisung is sure that even if they were surrounded by people, he’d be the only one to hear. “I’m in love with you, Han Jisung. Just you. Don’t tell me about a life for me that’s not with you.” 

“One day you won’t be.” Jisung presses even closer, knowing this is the last time he’ll be touched by Lee Minho.

“Tell me what I can do to make this right? Please, I can’t let you go.” Minho is crying, Jisung can tell, by the way his chest shudders and how his words are too breathy. It makes him clutch at the back of Minho’s sweater and cry harder too.

“You’ve been perfect,” Jisung whispers. “You’ve treated me far better than I ever thought I would be. I love you, Minho. I just can’t live a life where I feel awful that I can’t have your sight, where I can’t support you in the way you do me. I need to know that I can make it. By myself.” 

“That little house, the family, the white picket fence. When you make it will you share it with me?” 

Jisung closes his eyes, but it doesn’t halt his tears. “That house, that dream, it’s not mine. I just hope that you can make it a reality one day, for yourself.”

(Ten years later Jisung receives a holiday card. In the picture there’s a couple, one with a toddler on his shoulders, and the other holding a baby. Behind them is a sweet-looking yellow house with a white picket fence. When Jisung flips the card over all that is written there are the words ‘Let’s find our own dreams now.’ 

Jisung smiles as he tapes the card to his refrigerator door. He thinks a new dream could maybe just be it for both of them.)

_Let it all out_  
_Oh, let it all out  
Let it all out_

**Author's Note:**

> > [twitter](https://twitter.com/wasatch97)  
> > [tumblr](https://wasatch97.tumblr.com/)  
> > [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/wasatch97/)  
> > [curious cat](https://curiouscat.qa/wasatch97)


End file.
